By Evan Dickson

The Guardians of the Galaxy movie is nearly here and so far all signs point to awesome. The movie features Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel and, most importantly, Bradley Cooper in the starring role as Rocket Raccoon.

As his name implies, Rocket Raccoon is an anthropomorphic raccoon with a jet pack. He has all the makings of a hero: he’s sassy, furry, favours giant guns and his ex-girlfriend is an otter. Why Marvel didn’t give this guy a solo origin film is beyond me. He has a long history of badassery that stands up to anyone in the Marvel Universe.

Before the movie cements his reputation for all time, let’s take a moment to pay tribute to the heart and soul of the Guardians and reflect on some of the most badass moments in this little maniac’s life.

I go like this...

Let’s start with an easy one. If this doesn’t convince you of Rocket Raccoon’s greatness you might as well just turn in your heart and brain at the front desk and leave. Hospitals put this frame on the ceiling of their nurseries to stimulate chest hair growth among babies. Never let a real life raccoon look at this image in case it incites some kind of animal uprising. You want context? Irrelevant! BRAKKA BRAKKA BRAKKA needs no set-up.

"Your security is a joke, Quill."

Once upon a time, Star-Lord redesigned the Kree Warnet, a massive integrated military intelligence system that tells one of the galaxy's most fearsome military forces what to incinerate. Think Skynet from the Terminator movies, but less psychotic and a million times more powerful. Except when it gets taken over by a race of sentient machines called the Phalanx, then it becomes more psychotic and, I don’t know, a trillion times more powerful. The point is Rocket and crew are trying to evade the most sophisticated target tracking system known to mammal, so Peter Quill (a.k.a Star-Lord) is rightfully dampening his trousers.

Rocket Raccoon, on the other hand, is not.

That’s right, not only does Rocket have a bigger gun than you, he’s also smarter. I’m talking to you, Iron Man.

Rocket Teaches Tony Stark how to fix his armour

Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, genius inventor … I'm sure that business card pulls all the tail you can handle back on Earth, Tony, but out here in the galaxy you're just not that impressive. Just listen to the raccoon and maybe you'll learn a thing or two.

You got that, Stark? Just put the thing in the thing. You know what? Maybe you should go back to the Avengers. It doesn’t take much to look like a genius next to Thor and the Hulk.